sexuality

[merchimerch]

I'm doing some recommended reading to try to heal myself of some fretting, and one of the things I was given was Whistling in the Dark: An ABC Theologized by Frederick Buechner, and I'm really enjoying it. In his discussion of homosexuality, he touches on spiritual issues of sexuality in general, and it really grabbed me:

"It is not the object of our sexuality that determines its value but the inner nature of our sexuality. If (a) it is as raw as the coupling of animals, at its worst it demeans us and at its best still leaves our deepest hunger for each other unsatisfied. If (b) it involves some measure of kindness, understanding, affection, as well as desire, it can become an expression of human love in its fullness and can thus help to complete us as humans. Whatever our sexual preference happens to be, both of these possibilities are always there. It's not whom you go to bed with or what you do when you get there that matters so much. It's what besides sex you are asking to receive, and what besides sex you are offering to give." (62-63)

Comments

[elissali.livejournal.com]

oh, that's awesome! That definitely captures a little bit of how I feel about sex. I've been struggling with the feeling that because I don't usually want to go at it like an animal, I'm a prude. sounds ridiculous when I put it that way, but I really love this expression of why that's not true. Thank you for sharing!

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

isn't it just lovely - and I appreciate that it doesn't demean or condescend those of us who go in for more casually oriented sex from time to time as well. It looks at sexuality/intimacy as a spectrum.

Are you still in SB? If you find yourself down in my direction, drop me a line - it would be great to see you.

[elissali.livejournal.com]

hehe, that's cool, that you get something different from that quote than I do. I really like that about it. :)

I am still in SB, but I don't have a car that is LA-drive-worthy. So I don't get down there very often. though... where are you in LA?

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

I'm in the valley, the valley so low...hang your head over and hear the wind blow.

I do have 101-worthy car, and may be up in SB at some point...I'll keep you posted. If you end up in Simi, it's only like a 15 min. drive for me (if the freeways work like freeways at that time).

[elissali.livejournal.com]

do let me know if you're up here!

the reason I asked where is that I can take the train down, but it isn't really convenient, depending on where in the valley you are.

I do agree that we should hang out, one way or another. :)

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

oh yeah - there is a metrolink station at Roscoe and Van Nuys, I think - it's less than a mile from my place. If you are coming down for other reasons, do let me know and I'd love to reserve a chunk of your time for hanging out and goodness.

and back to the quote - what I love is the focus on intent - if there is kindness, compassion, and understanding, then it can function to bring people together. It isn't hinged on some idealized notion of true love, soul mate, or any kind of partnership, heterosexual, marriage oriented, or otherwise. It seems to go back to the basic commandment of "love one another."

[sohrshah.livejournal.com]

I'm stealing your quote and putting it in my journal.

It was great chatting with you, BTW!

*hugs*

~G.

[happykitten.livejournal.com]

I like this. I like it a lot.