Yeah - I wish I could compartmentalize such that I can accept *hugs* in lieu of real ones in a primary relationship, but I just can't. I've got a strong tactile/kinesthetic lean in my approach to the world and it seems to me that it makes things worse for me in LDRs (though maybe I'm just being dramatic - they pretty much suck for everyone).
I was explicitly not going to go near LDRs for a long time, and then I went and fell for an old friend who happens to live far away. I'm really glad we've had three whole months together before switching to LDR, but having had that time makes me think the next 6-12 months before we can see each other again will be tolerable. Knowing it's not forever (chances are he'll be back to stay for awhile, this time next year) helps a lot, in this case.
good luck with your LDR - I think it works better in a context where one has many loves, though it still presents a challenge.
Knowing it is temporary is SO important. The larger reason why I ended things was because 18 months turned to 2 years turned to 4 years separation. I just knew I couldn't handle that kind of time line.
Oh - absolutely. I have no idea how I'd handle a one-and-only LDR, especially if I had no idea when it would end. I have a primary partner that I live with, and another localish (35 miles away) partner. Right this minute, that isn't making thinking about the coming year any easier, but I know that over the long run, having more than one partner will make a huge difference in my ability to tolerate having one so very far away.
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merchimerch) wrote2007-12-03 10:09 am
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Knowing it is temporary is SO important. The larger reason why I ended things was because 18 months turned to 2 years turned to 4 years separation. I just knew I couldn't handle that kind of time line.
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