(no subject)

My mother is already in a tizzy over planning a wedding reception on the east coast this summer. She's very sweet in her tizzy though. I got 2 long emails about reception planning in my inbox this morning. They were manic and hyper, but also very sweet. Here are the highlights for me:

"I saw Nancy and Gary as they traveled to D.C. for their daughter’s wedding, and Nancy was ready to go home before she even got there. Gary said that mother and daughter had some very heated phone conversations. I want to avoid that. We can keep this casual and informal which will hopefully lower the stress levels."

"Your uncle J said meeting our clan is another one of R’s stressors on top of everything else. I think we’re a pretty wonderfully deranged group, and I’m thrilled that R is becoming a member. I’ve told everyone that my future son-in-law is a great guy and perfect for you."

wedding advice from my friend S

My good friend and awesome middle eastern percussionist, S, sent me this advice about my upcoming nuptials - it sounded so good I had to forward it to R and post it here. It gives me hope that perhaps a mid-June wedding could happen - it is what makes the most sense in my schedule.

D and I found out that a wedding is a big party with certain
culturally-defined required elements. If you make sure the elements are
there, then it's a wedding.

1) legal requirements: marriage license, etc.
2) The Officiator
3) an entrance, a speech by the officiator, an exit
4) Lots of friends and family. The friends and family want advance notice
that it's happening.
5) wedding cake
6) music for eating and talking and dancing and celebrating
7) things to eat and drink

Voila! It's not a party, it's the celebration of a wedding.

non-requirements (it'll still be a wedding without these):
1) big church with major flower arrangements and big solemn ceremonials
2) big reception hall with major flower arrangements and big food and big
band.
3) big tall multi-layer cake
4) super fancy dress for both you and Rich
5) lots of time taken to plan
6) Limos
7) engraved invitations
8) hundreds of guests
9) rehearsals/rehearsal dinners

What worked for D and I:
1) location: backyard.
2) Music: by participants
3) Ceremonial: Robert Winokur played the first phrase of "Here Comes the
Bride" 5 times on his bombard.
4) food: potluck
5) wedding cake: made by my brother's wife Kathy
6) D wore a Bulgarian men's outfit and I wore a Croatian women's
outfit with sequins (borrowed).
7) total time for creation of party: 1 month.