(no subject)

Some more thoughts about yesterday's fiasco:
Genrally, time in Uzbekistan is a very flexible concept. Concerts, lectures, classes, meetings, meals, etc. seem to start at random times related to when they are publicized to begin. These strange times seem really unpredictable, and sometimes people decide to be very on-time and self righteously petulant about it. I've scampered into the concert hall at the last minute realizing that this *one* concert is starting on time, as opposed to the 3 I'd attended before at that venue, and I have been berated about being late for a guesting expereince by people who have been late many times and not noticed my tardiness before. Sometimes deadlines here are hard and fast and sometimes they are flexible. I'm pretty sure that noone knows the difference here either, they just take it in stride better than I do.

So instead of attending a conference and giving a paper yesterday I ended up baking a chocolate cake for the guy who helped me vett the paper (we found out that it was his birthday) and going out to lebanese food. Not a bad way to spend a day, but now I'm acknowledging that even thought the paper deadline has moved, I am going to try to get started on my first dissertation chapter regardless. It needs to be done by March 1, so I need to get on the stick.

After going out and smoking hookah with R and I, we came home and I drank a lot of beer. The boys were going through vodka so I had a big liter and a half bottle of dark beer all to myself. I need to remember that even though I don't go beyond tipsy with beer, in general, it is still not good to drink a lot of it. I don't even feel bad this morning, I'm just starting to contemplate why it is that my parents are teetotalers. Alchohol is a luxury item and not good for the organism. People here drink A LOT (!!!!) and I've gotten used to imbibing more on a more regular basis. This has seeped into my non-Uzbek life as well. The last two times I've hung out with American friends it has involved large amounts of alchohol. I guess this is normal. Alchohol is a social lubricant in most cultures. Perhaps I'm just more accustomed to have teetotaling friends or friends that don't drink much. Mostly I think I'm used to not being able to afford too much alchohol. Regardless, I'm feeling the need to rethink what I'm putting in my body.

links

Today has been a link-ful day.

First I got my horoscope from the Rob Brezny mailing list:
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): "Boobs: I wish I had them. Not enough to buy them, though." So testified skinny actress Lara Flynn Boyle in the *Globe,* rejecting the idea of getting silicone implants. Take your inspiration from her clarity in the coming week, Leo. Identify one of your half-assed desires--a vague wish that chronically floats around the back of your mind--and renounce it forever. If necessary, have a no-nonsense conversation with yourself in which you discuss all the reasons why the satisfaction of that longing is not at all crucial to your happiness
or well- being, and why, therefore, you will never again indulge in a serious fantasy about it.

This hits spot on with some of the issues I've been having lately. Especially when faced with Uzbek female tininess and submissive identity, I need to rethink my values. I don't even particularily want to be skinny - though I seem to be faced with that irrational desire on a fairly regular basis. If I were skinny noone would love me more and I wouldn't be more successful. I would however like to be healthier. The eating habits have been very manic depressive and now that I've been here for a while I need to discipline myself into normalizing them. I've gotten back into yoga, which is a good thing, but in general I think I need to do better at treating my body as a temple where the functioning inside matters much more than outside appearance.

And I finally found a link about the "maniac" that has been rumored to be running rampant through Tashkent since October. Apparently starting in January the rape and killing of young girls has been confirmed and the embassy even sent out a notice about it a few weeks ago. The rumor in neighborhoods are flying around and everyone is terrified. My neighbors from last year won't let their youngest go to school anymore for fear of the "maniac." Malika opa and Komila opa are both scared for their daughters and don't let them go out without adult supervision anywhere. It is effectively keeping young girls housebound at the moment, but the press hasn't said a thing about it. Here's a link: http://www.iwpr.net/index.pl?archive/rca2/rca2_343_1_eng.txt

Also, off of the brutal women blog I found an interesting link about the language used in federally funded pro-absistenance programs: http://www.siecus.org/policy/in_their_own_words.pdf

This year's list of the top 10 worst corporations in America:http://www.organicconsumers.org/corp/10worst012505.cfm

And finally, the vending machine association of America's attempt to claim that some of the junk food in their machines (like sugary teddy grahams) are a healthy and appropriate snack for young kids: http://www.organicconsumers.org/school/vendors.cfm

Wow, no wonder I'm feeling the blues today.