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[personal profile] merchimerch
Like most, I suppose, I am an odd combination of intro- and extrovert. It's a dynamic process, so I'm always amused to observe myself turning into a wallflower or the center of attention when neither strike me as natural positions.

Yesterday I happened to experience an extroverted up-swing, and it was fortunate. Rednikki threw a nice mellow party that I was worried I wouldn't have the social energy to attend, since my day was full of academic/work type presentations and socializing. I did have enough energy and was so glad that I went, since it reinforced the notion that socializing, even in large-ish groups can often be a positive experience. (Plus I learned that silicone sex toys and menstrual cups can be put in the dishwasher for sterilization - I never knew!)

Prof. H and I gave a workshop on the job market to the grad students, and I heard J's latest job talk dry run. Plus there was a lecture on 16th century Hindustani musical texts and a reception (that I believe had bad shrimp, since although my extroversion faired quite well yesterday, my tummy did not). I also got to read half of Y's dissertation and took her out to lunch to celebrate its completion (hurray for Y who JUST finished her dissertation!!!). Through all of it I was chatty and felt shiny and like I was contributing a lot.

Of course, there is always the inner voice that worries that I talk too much, am too pushy, and that people don't actually want to hear what I have to say. I was especially conscious of this during the workshop, but chose to dismiss these thoughts as echos of self esteem demons. I am certainly not the most socially adept human walking this earth, but I think I did okay yesterday. Plus all this social activity wasn't as tiring as it is when my introversion is more ascendant.
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merchimerch

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