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[merchimerch]

I'm going back to bed for a short hour. R and I fell asleep very early last night after an emotional day. I think this blood pressure/weight issue has left me a lot more raw than I was hoping it would. I am trying really hard to turn it into a positive thing, but it is very hard.

I woke up at 3 AM with my mind whirring. I got up to do the Uzbek homework I didn't get finished last night. I still have this article to turn in - I had hoped to get it to my advisor by Friday, but Friday was a day of turmoil from the doctors appointment. Hopefully I will finish it today and get it mailed off.


I go back to the doctors today for a blood pressure check, I will talk to her more about symptothermal birth control and what to use in the mean time before I can accurately track ovulation. I'm thinking of getting fitted for a diaphragm. I got fit for one a while ago, but didn't end up getting one because I ended up going back on hormonal birth control. Maybe I'm brainwashed, but I feel really trepidatious about the failure rate of anything but hormonal methods. I'm going to have to get over that if I am going to get off of them.

Comments

[beetlefuck.livejournal.com]

I, too, sat up at 3AM, mind in a tailspin.

Maybe the universe is trying to tell us something.

Let me know if you figure out what that is!

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

as iyindo said to me as I was pouring my stressed out heart to her, "maybe this is the universe telling you to slow down." I think she's right. Of course slowing down doesn't seem like an option until a few months from now.

I have never had more things worrying me that I feel like I have no control over. The visa process, the terrorism in UZ, the blood pressure and weight. For me it is causing high levels of anxiety. I'm feeling really lucky to have wonderful friends on lj and IRL because every time I vent I feel a little bit calmer.