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Sep. 26th, 2004 10:13 pmWow I just lost a whole entry because spell check didn't work fast enough and my folk's computer pooped on me.
To summarize - I'm feeling really pensive and overwhelmed. I don't do well in transition and I don't deal well with uncertainty in my career - not knowing where funding is coming from next year is killing me and the grant deadlines feel like they're coming up far too quickly. Applying for grants from UZ is not a pleasant expereince, as I learned with the fulbright last year.
I'm worried my dutar teacher is going to be very upset with me because I've forgotten a lot of the material she taught me last year and I've not practiced like I should - this year has been very intense and dutar has been low on the list of priorities that included quals and weddings. Last year she reprimanded me, telling me I wasn't taking it seriously enough because I'd forgotten a few phrases of things she'd taught me the year before. Well this year I've forgotton whole pieces. She may not agree to teach me this year.
In the car today my mom and R and my lil bro were calling me an overachiever. Its funny - I don't feel like an over acheiver at the moment, I feel like I'm struggling to stay afloat. I'm barely acheiving, much less over acheiving. I have no idea if I'll be able to get a job when I'm done with this.
To summarize - I'm feeling really pensive and overwhelmed. I don't do well in transition and I don't deal well with uncertainty in my career - not knowing where funding is coming from next year is killing me and the grant deadlines feel like they're coming up far too quickly. Applying for grants from UZ is not a pleasant expereince, as I learned with the fulbright last year.
I'm worried my dutar teacher is going to be very upset with me because I've forgotten a lot of the material she taught me last year and I've not practiced like I should - this year has been very intense and dutar has been low on the list of priorities that included quals and weddings. Last year she reprimanded me, telling me I wasn't taking it seriously enough because I'd forgotten a few phrases of things she'd taught me the year before. Well this year I've forgotton whole pieces. She may not agree to teach me this year.
In the car today my mom and R and my lil bro were calling me an overachiever. Its funny - I don't feel like an over acheiver at the moment, I feel like I'm struggling to stay afloat. I'm barely acheiving, much less over acheiving. I have no idea if I'll be able to get a job when I'm done with this.
