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Mar. 15th, 2005 09:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
merchimerchI was going to try and post about my time in Horezm and about the upcoming Navruz celebrations, but I had such a sad lesson today with my Farsi teacher I just have to post about that.
My teacher seemed sort of sad and upset today, so I asked about it during my lesson. He said that he had "some stress" and that if I had time could we talk about it for five minutes after my lesson. So after my lesson he explains that he is getting "called" (i.e. forced) to work at the ministry of education, which is apparently very corrupt. The salary is only $50 a month so everyone there takes bribes. My teacher is a very relgious, honest and unassuming man. When he told me about this he said "if I take bribes, why do I pray, why am I a Muslim?" His job at the school apparently pays him almost $200 a month, and he can't support his family on $50. The poor man, he applied to the Peace Corps but hasn't heard anything and seems desparate for an alternative to this job which will force him into an ethical and religious dilemma. My heart just breaks for him. I asked how I could help and asked about writing a recommendation letter to the peace corps, but he said that there is nothing to do now but wait.
To make matters worse, his divorce becomes final tomorrow and apparently his wife is now having second thoughts about divorce. He related a sad story about the marriage and how she seemed perfect for the 5 months that they knew each other before the wedding (a decent amount of time by Uzbek standards). He said that things were fine for the first 2 months of marriage, and then she began changing and her mother and sisters kept telling her how to act and what to do. At some point she just kept saying she was miserable and wanted a divorce. At this point I took the opportunity to say that maybe she didn't want to cook and clean for a man and my teacher countered with the fact that most Uzbek women said that she lived in paradise, since he is not an alchoholic, a drug addict, and doesn't swear at his wife. It's pretty true, he seems like a fairly good catch for an Uzbek. All the same, my heart goes out to the woman as well - young brides don't have an easy life no matter what, and marriage for love is extremely rare. Divorce is also a really hard thing for both parties, so I'm not suprised that she is having doubts.
At the end of the conversation he mentioned that the hours at the ministry are 9AM - 9PM Mon-Sat, so he doesn't know how we will have our lessons if he ends up not able to get out of working at the ministry. Still, if he's working here, we need to have lessons in order to support his family. The poor poor guy. This whole thing seems like such a typical Uzbek tragedy.
My teacher seemed sort of sad and upset today, so I asked about it during my lesson. He said that he had "some stress" and that if I had time could we talk about it for five minutes after my lesson. So after my lesson he explains that he is getting "called" (i.e. forced) to work at the ministry of education, which is apparently very corrupt. The salary is only $50 a month so everyone there takes bribes. My teacher is a very relgious, honest and unassuming man. When he told me about this he said "if I take bribes, why do I pray, why am I a Muslim?" His job at the school apparently pays him almost $200 a month, and he can't support his family on $50. The poor man, he applied to the Peace Corps but hasn't heard anything and seems desparate for an alternative to this job which will force him into an ethical and religious dilemma. My heart just breaks for him. I asked how I could help and asked about writing a recommendation letter to the peace corps, but he said that there is nothing to do now but wait.
To make matters worse, his divorce becomes final tomorrow and apparently his wife is now having second thoughts about divorce. He related a sad story about the marriage and how she seemed perfect for the 5 months that they knew each other before the wedding (a decent amount of time by Uzbek standards). He said that things were fine for the first 2 months of marriage, and then she began changing and her mother and sisters kept telling her how to act and what to do. At some point she just kept saying she was miserable and wanted a divorce. At this point I took the opportunity to say that maybe she didn't want to cook and clean for a man and my teacher countered with the fact that most Uzbek women said that she lived in paradise, since he is not an alchoholic, a drug addict, and doesn't swear at his wife. It's pretty true, he seems like a fairly good catch for an Uzbek. All the same, my heart goes out to the woman as well - young brides don't have an easy life no matter what, and marriage for love is extremely rare. Divorce is also a really hard thing for both parties, so I'm not suprised that she is having doubts.
At the end of the conversation he mentioned that the hours at the ministry are 9AM - 9PM Mon-Sat, so he doesn't know how we will have our lessons if he ends up not able to get out of working at the ministry. Still, if he's working here, we need to have lessons in order to support his family. The poor poor guy. This whole thing seems like such a typical Uzbek tragedy.
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-15 05:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-15 08:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 02:11 am (UTC)What is not typical is that he is getting divorced. The divorce is something very rare in uzbek comunity. Usually couple divorce because of the fertility disorder of one of the spouses. Otherwise both sides of the families fight for the marriage. The thing is, if once divorced, each party cuts his/hers chances for remarriage about 40 percent. Again, because the prospective party would susspect that there was something wrong with the guy/girl. Makes any sense?
no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 05:00 am (UTC)However, I see the moral dilemma that he is going through as a devout person who is forced to face an immoral act in order to support his family - I completely agree that the bribes would be considered a huge perk for your average worker.
And the typical Uzbek tragedy comment wasn't aimed at the actual events, more the air of intense frusteration and wasted opportunity. People seem to get their hopes and opportunities crushed by outside forces here a lot - that's not to say that similar things don't happen elsewhere, just that I've noticed that it is hard to maintain any semblence of stability - everything is always on the brink of falling apart.
no subject
Date: 2005-04-01 06:29 am (UTC)It is very sad and frustrating that honest and decent people like your teacher are so spirit-broken and don't seem to do anything to change the way things are.