(no subject)

[merchimerch]

So yesterday I found out that last quarter another one of the grad students in my department had a nervous breakdown while trying to complete her quals. It makes me sad and worried. She was an outgoing, sparkly woman who seemed to have her research in order and a good knowledge base. I'm shocked that she was having such a hard time, though the exam that she was struggling with was being given by one of the profs in my department who has a reputation for giving unreasonable workload and unreasonably high expectations. I am sad for my colleague and hope that she feels better soon and can follow whatever path she is supposed to take in her career.

I am also steeling myself for my own quals. People in my department seem to have 2 different kinds of malfunction when quals come around. There are a few who have slid into inertia and never seem to get anything accomplished month after month and there are those who push and push and get negative feedback and then just lose it. I am determined not to have either. I am going to try and be as good to myself as possible during this period because yesterday's news really drove the gravity of the situation home to me. I will not stop doing yoga even if I think I don't have time, I will ask for help if I need it, and if I need therapy to get through this I will get it - before I feel myself losing it.

Comments

[fangaili.livejournal.com]

I read in the newspaper that 30 grad students from Berkeley didn't get their Fullbright applications in on time because FedEx missed their stop! I was nervous for you until I reread "Berkeley".
But that might be a lesson for us all--don't depend on the mailservice to get stuff there on time. Fullbright isn't accepting the late applications, even though it wasn't the students' fault.

Not that I want to add to your stress... far from it. I send lots of support your way! You can do it! :)

Re:

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

well this wasn't a fulbright I was applying for, it was from ACTR, the american councils - and the deadline was Jan. 15 - they know me and I've gotten a grant from them in the past, so I emailed the outbound program coordinator when I got home and said that I had just gotten back from UZ and wanted to apply but couldn't squeak out an app in 6 days. He gave me until the first week of Feb. And I just got the email from him that they got it :) But thanks for the concern.

[fallen42.livejournal.com]

My quals were definately very difficult and very stressful. When I was dealing with them, I tried to keep things in perspective. I figured that even if I failed the quals, I could easily have left with a masters and lived a comfortable life doing masters level work. My stomach was in knots for days though.

Good luck.

[merchimerch.livejournal.com]

yeah I've heard that quals for math people are at masters level - for my brother it was the same. It think my quals are more akin to what my brothers program calls orals. It's the you've done everythign but the dissertation, lets test you one more time just to make sure you're ready final rite of passage kind of thing.

But I'm getting through it - the goal is to be done before May 1 so I can go to Annwfn for Beltane.

Re:

[fallen42.livejournal.com]

Ahh. Yeah, our quals (AKA comps) were something of an entrance examination into the PHD program. The material was at the graduate level, and it would seem that they were testing whether we could absorb the tricky material before we really got moving in our research. We also have orals, but very few people outright fail them.