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[personal profile] merchimerch
I love my mother very much. In my adulthood we have learned to understand each other quite well and have grown into a supportive role for one another.

usually.


I knew it was going to be hard to tell my mother about the blood pressure and the no-hormonal-birth control for Merchimerch thing. She used the pill from the time she was married until she turned 40 and they wouldn't let her have it any more. I knew she wasn't going to like the idea of me not being on it. I didn't know she was going to make me feel like a teenager about it. At the end of the conversation she said "well you're an adult, I can't tell you what to do." And I'm thinking, not saying, "well you just did." She doesn't want me to risk pregnancy by using the symptothermal method. I, personally, do not want to risk a stroke by being on hormones. I reassured her that we would be using barrier methods for 3 months until I got the hang of my personal fertility cycle. She still doesn't buy it. The cell phone she was on kept cutting out, and the whole conversation just went from bad to worse. I don't think I am being stupid or irresponsible for wanted a natural birth control method. I also think that the small (though larger than with the pill) risk of pregnancy is not that big a deal at the moment. R and I would prefer to wait to have children. If a child sets itself up in my womb, as has been known to happen both to women on the pill and women using FAM, R and I will do our best to care for it. I'm so frustrated. I needed support - that's why I called my mother - I wanted to share this issue with her. I knew it was a risky idea, but I wasn't expecting such a harsh reaction from her. Please please please let me work on being more flexible and understanding. I don't ever want to make my grown children feel like this.

Date: 2004-08-04 11:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fallen42.livejournal.com
It's always tricky when parents don't understand.

As far as alternative methods of birth control go, it would probably really pay off to do a lot of research. The more informed you become, the better you will be able to balance the arrays of risks/payoffs.

Date: 2004-08-05 07:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merchimerch.livejournal.com
Yeah, maybe this is what my mom isn't picking up on - I read up on the method on various websites (including planned parenthood), am in the middle of a book on it and have talked to my doctor about it. I'm also not sure she understands the science of it. She was on the pill for so long I'm not sure how much she felt her cycle when she had it. I'm also not sure she understands that we'll still be using barrier methods during any time that I *might* be fertile. and that comes after 3 months of barrier methods to get the tracking the cycle business down.

So far the statistics I've been seeing say that the symptothermal method (combining mucus monitoring and basal body temp tracking as well as keeping an eye on the calendrical cycle) Is like 95% effective in ideal use. Normal use is more like 80-90%. These stats put it at the same level as most non-hormonal birth control methods.

and in reverse, too

Date: 2004-08-05 09:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mehitabelmmoss.livejournal.com
I used the mucous/basal temp method when I was trying to get pregnant. It worked very well and saved lots of $$ on ovulation tests so we could order sperm at exactly the right time.

Obviously you're a big girl and have done the research. And it sounds as though you have also thought through the risk/benefit thing as it relates to your circumstances.

You've got to remember that the pill was 'magic' in the days of our moms - my mom did not get my preference for IUDs over the pill, but I really do not like having drugs in my body.

Re: and in reverse, too

Date: 2004-08-05 04:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] merchimerch.livejournal.com
I know that the FAM method (or NFP, pick your acronym) is supposed to be really good for planning pregnancy. It's one of the reasons I'm so keen about it. Hopefully I can stave off children for another 2-3 years, then plan them so that I will not be at my hugest and most uncomfortable in August.

I think it really does come down to the "pill as miracle drug" perception. In my mom's mind everything else is too risky.

Re: and in reverse, too

Date: 2004-08-05 08:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mehitabelmmoss.livejournal.com
My mom also was on the pill from the 1960's till menopause - over 30 years. It was reliable. And I guess, in the days before AIDS, very safe.

There's no good time to be huge and uncomfortable. My first was due in early June - the air conditioning broke during a 102 degree heat wave.
Any way good luck w/ your mom, and with your BC/planning method.

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