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Dec. 31st, 2004 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
merchimerchWow - I have cigarette flavored boogers. I just blew my nose and it came out black. Sometimes I hate UZ. The party R and I went to last night wasn't even that smokey.
It was, however, filled with drunken Russians. Man alive do I hate drunk Russian men. I stopped going to clubs the first time I was here in 2002 because the sleeze factor was too overwhelming especially with the Uzbek cultural lack of personal space. "Hey don't touch me" is just a wierd thing to say here. I hadn't been out dancing in UZ in years because of it. I thought it was acceptable to try again because now I have a wedding ring forcefield to protect me from the slime. I was especially willing to head to the club since the firm R has made friends with had a new years party last night and we went out in order to hang out with them. They are lovely Uzbeks who dance appropriately (i.e. with a minimum of mixed gender touching) and were a lot of fun. Of course the restaurant was also full of drunk Russians. At some point R is still out dancing and I sit down for some water and a little rest and this old, round, drunk Russian guy comes up and gestures for me to dance. I gesture "no" and he comes and grabs me and lifts me from my seat. Becuase we are in UZ and I don't want to piss all over the party vibe, I get up and start dancing near R and give him a peck on the cheek. The drunk Russian goes bug eyed, and looks very scared. R, being the amicable (and poly) R that he is, gives the guy a smile, shakes his hand and encourages him to keep dancing. At the end of the song I scamper back to my seat, and the drunk guy drags R to his table and gives him a wine glass full of vodka. R comes back to our table and I sit next to him hoping that would be the end of it.
Of course it wasn't. In an hour or so the drunk guy reappears at our table. He leans over me asking if he can request a song for me (there is a payment system for making requests at most restaurants). I say no, I don't want any music requested for me and get more and more uncomfortable. This time R gets up and stands between me and him, smiles, and steers the drunk guy toward the dance floor. Once again I thought that would be the end of it. At the end of the evening, R and I decide to leave and we both head toward the door. Well actually I head toward the coat room and R gets finnagled back to the drunk table for more vodka. He was actually heading toward the door, being too tipsy at that point to remember his coat, or the fact that he has the coat check tag. After a few minutes of waiting by the coat check with the clerk looking at me like I am crazy for coming to get my coat without the tag, I go looking for R. He isn't outside, in the restroom, or at our table....he is at the drunk Russian table. As I try to get to him to get the coat check tag from him I get grabbed again, as a different guy swears that I am German and he met me on a tour bus in Frankfurt. R downs the obbligatory shot and we get our coats and go. It was a total downer to the evening and R was more tipsy than I'd ever seen him aside from at Annwfn. The thing that really irks me is that I know he had a handle on it before the wine glass full of vodka. Argh.
I miss being blissfully ignored by everyone but my friends in clubs like Dungeon and Bar Sin :)
Today I need to bake a bunch of cakes for New Years visiting. Poor R is going to be stuck with another vodka soaked night.
I got a nice horoscope too that I am posting because it seems kind of apt as I am heading toward my dissertation year:
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): This should be the year you devote
yourself to the maddening and glorious details, Leo. I encourage
you to dive into the mysteries of intricacy as you master the
thousand and one practical matters that will ultimately make
your dreams come true. You might want to memorize the
following quote from philosopher William James: "I am done with
great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. I
am for those tiny, invisible loving human forces that work from
individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the
world like so many rootlets, or like the capillaries."
It was, however, filled with drunken Russians. Man alive do I hate drunk Russian men. I stopped going to clubs the first time I was here in 2002 because the sleeze factor was too overwhelming especially with the Uzbek cultural lack of personal space. "Hey don't touch me" is just a wierd thing to say here. I hadn't been out dancing in UZ in years because of it. I thought it was acceptable to try again because now I have a wedding ring forcefield to protect me from the slime. I was especially willing to head to the club since the firm R has made friends with had a new years party last night and we went out in order to hang out with them. They are lovely Uzbeks who dance appropriately (i.e. with a minimum of mixed gender touching) and were a lot of fun. Of course the restaurant was also full of drunk Russians. At some point R is still out dancing and I sit down for some water and a little rest and this old, round, drunk Russian guy comes up and gestures for me to dance. I gesture "no" and he comes and grabs me and lifts me from my seat. Becuase we are in UZ and I don't want to piss all over the party vibe, I get up and start dancing near R and give him a peck on the cheek. The drunk Russian goes bug eyed, and looks very scared. R, being the amicable (and poly) R that he is, gives the guy a smile, shakes his hand and encourages him to keep dancing. At the end of the song I scamper back to my seat, and the drunk guy drags R to his table and gives him a wine glass full of vodka. R comes back to our table and I sit next to him hoping that would be the end of it.
Of course it wasn't. In an hour or so the drunk guy reappears at our table. He leans over me asking if he can request a song for me (there is a payment system for making requests at most restaurants). I say no, I don't want any music requested for me and get more and more uncomfortable. This time R gets up and stands between me and him, smiles, and steers the drunk guy toward the dance floor. Once again I thought that would be the end of it. At the end of the evening, R and I decide to leave and we both head toward the door. Well actually I head toward the coat room and R gets finnagled back to the drunk table for more vodka. He was actually heading toward the door, being too tipsy at that point to remember his coat, or the fact that he has the coat check tag. After a few minutes of waiting by the coat check with the clerk looking at me like I am crazy for coming to get my coat without the tag, I go looking for R. He isn't outside, in the restroom, or at our table....he is at the drunk Russian table. As I try to get to him to get the coat check tag from him I get grabbed again, as a different guy swears that I am German and he met me on a tour bus in Frankfurt. R downs the obbligatory shot and we get our coats and go. It was a total downer to the evening and R was more tipsy than I'd ever seen him aside from at Annwfn. The thing that really irks me is that I know he had a handle on it before the wine glass full of vodka. Argh.
I miss being blissfully ignored by everyone but my friends in clubs like Dungeon and Bar Sin :)
Today I need to bake a bunch of cakes for New Years visiting. Poor R is going to be stuck with another vodka soaked night.
I got a nice horoscope too that I am posting because it seems kind of apt as I am heading toward my dissertation year:
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): This should be the year you devote
yourself to the maddening and glorious details, Leo. I encourage
you to dive into the mysteries of intricacy as you master the
thousand and one practical matters that will ultimately make
your dreams come true. You might want to memorize the
following quote from philosopher William James: "I am done with
great things and big plans, great institutions and big success. I
am for those tiny, invisible loving human forces that work from
individual to individual, creeping through the crannies of the
world like so many rootlets, or like the capillaries."
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-31 05:53 am (UTC)I'm sorry you were uncomfortable, though. I don't think I could have begun to deal with that. but you wrote it up most humorously. thank you.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-31 09:18 am (UTC)Sounds like you did rather well in handling the crazy drunken Russians, nonetheless.. I am always impressed when someone stands her ground in such a graceful way.
no subject
Date: 2004-12-31 08:56 pm (UTC)Both of us were uncomfortable and unsure how to handle an uncomfortable situation in a culturally acceptable fashion. We've talked about it and will keep talking about it. I'm definitely going to suggest code gestures.
Anyway, I just added you as a friend - I really appreciate your insight.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-01 10:36 am (UTC)It seems like, if you know that your friend or partner wants to get "rescued" from an uncomfortable social situation, one might be able to just sort of whisk them away for a toast or to taste some sort of food, or to dance.. especially in a place where people are doing that stuff anyway (if the Russian men have no problem coming up with reasons to whisk people away, perhaps it's considered part of being "friendly" & "social", and is just the thing to do). Many European cultures seem very into grabbing people to get their attention & pulling them to wherever they want them to be.. which is kind of abrupt & disconcerting when you're from someplace where people just don't normally do that sort of thing.
Thanks for your thoughtful & thought-provoking writing.. an interesting, intelligent (and often entertaining) perspective is a wonderful (and fairly rare) thing!